When Social Media Becomes The Cult of Adoration
This IG post was so perplexing I’m still trying to wrap my brain around it.
It was a post about paying the price of lost popularity. The poster said some heinous stuff years back and it’s come back to haunt her. It was quite bad, so she lost a lot of deals, and her brand has suffered measurably. It’s an ugly situation.
She describes the rough time she’s having since her horrific comments resurfaced. She’s feeling very alone and can’t get off the couch. She’s tired of being silent but knows whatever she says will incite the trolls.
If you’ve ever regretted anything, you get the gist of her current situation. It must be gut-wrenching to be reviled in such a public way.
But one thing she said was tough to process.
It was, “I love you guys, I miss you guys…” as part of a lengthier statement. I found it sad and confusing at the same time.
By “you guys” it seems obvious to assume she means her 35 million followers.
What does she love and miss about them?
Does she miss the followers as fellow human beings? As people who have their own adorable children, talented husbands, culinary talents, fancy dresses and exquisite homes but share none of that with her? As people who have struggles and dark days that she’s not expected to know or care about?
I’m doubtful that she miss them that way.
If it’s not the “who” she misses, perhaps it’s the “what.”
What she misses may be — at the very soul of it — the adulation and validation that’s typically lavished on her.
And that’s heartbreaking. That someone with so much can be gutted by tumbling off of the imaginary pedestal that faceless strangers put her on in response to her own efforts to get herself there.
Of course the issue is bigger than one person.
It’s about the Cult of Adoration.
In this cult there is never enough praise because as soon as the pinnacle is reached, a new pinnacle appears. It’s risky in this cult. One bad step can send a person not only to the bottom but buried neck deep in self-hatred for the loss of status. This cult is exhausting. It takes constant effort to stay in the sweet spot where people love you instead of anxious to witness your fall.
The Cult of Adoration is destructive to the followers, too.
The time and energy spent adoring the idol and envying a life that’s perfect in pictures is stolen from what is real and good in their own lives. Even if the follower’s own life is a serious struggle, I’d be curious to know if viewing someone else’s perfection does much to ease their own worry, grief, or pain.
Back to the poster. If she’s feeling lonely and adrift, this is a time for real friends to help her. Not followers. Not hangers on whom she pays in one way or another. But good friends who are there for one another in good times and bad. Friends who’ve seen her “ugly cry.” Friends who never bought into the pedestal and love her anyway.
As for not being able to get off the couch, there’s a cure for that.
She could do kind things for other people. Privately. Make anonymous donations. DM a troubled follower and let them share their troubles. Give to an animal shelter or restaurant that’s struggling to keep their doors open. There are lots of options. None of them need to be documented on social media to soothe her soul.
I hope she works through this and is happy again. More important, I hope she figures out how to adore and validate herself and lets that radiate out instead of relying on an endless supply of adoration coming in. I hope everybody that has ever gotten sucked into the Cult of Adoration, escapes.
